well hello there future bedroom :3
my DUDE is so wonderful & good to me. it kills me to think that he was ever this loving & caring to the girls before me. i don’t like thinking that he ever loved someone as much as he does me—or worse, even more. and i’m completely confused as to why any girl would have ever let him go.
my mom told me she wants my boyfriend & i to get married. she said she’s ready to let me go. i want to cry.
i’m 25. i used to be an A student in high school & received pretty admirable honors. but i haven’t finished any degree for all the different majors i’ve changed into, i’ve pretty much failed all my classes. i’ve worked since i was 17, but the recent 2 yrs, i haven’t worked as much as i should, and still, i don’t even want to go to work & i slack there also. i have no savings whatsoever. i spend money like it grows on trees & it rains down from the sky daily. i’ve maxed out all my credit cards & i use charge cards, & i’m starting to be late on payments, & EFF my life, my student loans just started arriving. i am a failure at domestic chores & wifely attributes. i’m a MESSY, LAZY, & always LATE muddaF’er.
gawd. i feel like such a disappointment to my parents & myself. i just don’t know what i should do, i’m always at the end of my rope & there’s this never-ending lack of motivation. if i try to fix one thing, it makes the other worse or things just fuxx up on me. how many times have i gone to the drawing board when i’ve tried to think of the best laid-out plans possible with minimal consequences & best results, trying to make the most of time & money, but it always goes to waste. i’m so burnt out, i’m just numb. this wasn’t how i EVER imagined my life. i never saw myself at this point today. NEVER. but most definitely, now at this moment, i can see where things are going & it’s not pretty. i always try to stay positive bc negativity & self-pity doesn’t solve anything, but it’s so hard not to take the bait & fall into that trap when u’re a worry-wort like me. and worse of all, one lame-ass excuse turns into a never-ending infestation of more lame-ass excuse. i’m drowning in it.
i used to hate on stiletto nails but i’ve fallen in love~~but it would mean i have to get acrylics…ugh!!
(Source: nailsbyregina)
